Beautiful
by funki-mage
Summary: meilin angst. then turns kinda sweat. uh... that's about it. FINISHED
1. Don't look at me

Beautiful  
  
Don't look at me...  
  
[I wrote this a while ago. Finally got the nerve to put up the story. It's a Meilin kinda angsty fic. Not sure what the rating should be either. So right now it'll be umm… PG. Yeah, I think that's okay.]  
  
She looked back as the airplane door shut. She forced a smile so they would not worry. She sat down and began to cry. She knew what everyone would say when she came back. She knew what her mother would think when she came back. She has failed.  
  
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She walked off the plane and saw her driver waiting for her. She followed him into the car. She sat in the back.  
  
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She got out of the car. She was 'home'. She walked into her parents' house. They were sitting and enjoying tea. They looked almost startled as she bowed and sat down in front of them.  
  
"What do you think you're doing back?" asked her mother maliciously. She did not want to respond because she knew what they were going to do if she said the wrong words.  
  
"Answer your mother!" scolded her father.  
  
She stared at her feet a moment before answering, "I was not told why I came back."  
  
"No! That is not the truth," reprimanded her mother. "You know the reason why you are back here, without him." She didn't dare look up or talk back. "Your job was simple, to watch over him and help. You couldn't do that. Useless." She held back tears. "Go to your room. I don't want to even look at you."  
  
She got up slowly and walked to her room. She opened the door to see it exactly as she left it. She laid on her bed with tears streaming down her face. She was use to the abuse but she still couldn't block out the tears. She lay there, crying and thinking. Why did she agree to come back, when she knew that this is how they would react?  
  
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She got up and looked over at her alarm clock, "5:30" It was time for her to start practice. This time she would practice by herself. She has never practiced by herself. She had always had him by her side. But now she was alone.  
  
She got up and got dressed. She opened her bedroom door to find emptiness. No one was awake yet. She went outside and into the garden. It was as beautiful as the day she left. Everything was in bloom and everything was so beautiful. She watched the flower petals opened. She watched as the baby birds called out for their mothers. She watched the sun rise, filling the sky with its warmth. As she awaited her instructor.  
  
It was not her instructor, "Hello, Meilin. I am your new instructor."  
  
"Hello." she said looking down.  
  
"Shall we get started?" he asked as she got into her pose. She waited for him to give instructions but he did not. Instead he studied her stance. "Do some simple moves." She did as she was told and just did simple kick and punching moves. "Blocking." She jumped and blocked and flipped all over the place. "Very nice. I've been told you've practiced all your life. It shows. This is all for now," he said as he walked away.  
  
She was confused. She usually practiced for hours. This took not even thirty minutes. Besides she did not want to return home. She walked around the garden with the sun to her back. She knew that she didn't need to study until noon. She wondered if she still had he same instructor as before since her martial arts instructor changed.  
  
She just wondered the estate, searching for something. She couldn't find anything so she decided to walk to her house and get ready for the rest of the day.  
  
She walked inside and felt relieved that her parents were not home, perhaps they went to eat breakfast at the main estate. She went into her room and changed into her Chinese clothes. Put her hair into buns and left the house.  
  
She went towards the main house, nervously. She did not want to see her parents. And she didn't. She went into the room she normally use to go into for study. She waited for her instructor to come in. She looked at her watch, it was already five past 12. Surely he'd be here. It was the same instructor she had before she had left to Japan.  
  
"Meilin. How much have you learned since you left?" he asked her.  
  
She thought for a bit before answering, "Not much, only a little more arithmetic. But I did learn a lot of Japanese."  
  
"Okay. We'll start off where you left off before you left for Japan," the instructor said. She sat there trying to learn.  
  
It felt like she'd been there for a million years before she was allowed to go. She walked to her house but this time her parents were home.  
  
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She didn't say anything to them she just walked straight into her room. Closed the door and lie on her bed. Thinking.  
  
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Her life continued with practice, studying, and her parents ignoring her. She didn't mind, after a while. She's seen how other children lived and she did have it better than most of them.  
  
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It was just like any ordinary morning when she got up. She got dressed and ready for practice like she always did. She went to practice like every other day and then came back home and then went to study like she always did. But this time when she walked inside her house her aunt walked out.  
  
"Sit down!" command her mother as she walked inside. She did as she was told and sat down before them.  
  
"Your aunt said that XiaoLang does not want to wed you any longer," she continued to look down and nod her head. "Instead he wants to marry that card mistress. Do you know what this means?" she did not answer but continued to look down. "Your one chance to make yourself valuable and you couldn't even do it. First you are a girl, then you have no magic and now you have no XiaoLang. Worthless. I don't know what we're going to do with you. Go to your room."  
  
She slowly got up as she always did after her mother criticized her. She learned to block out everything. She didn't cry but just stared at the window. She stopped crying a long time ago. Crying didn't solve anything.  
  
[Okay this is the end of CH 1. Whatcha think? I'm not going to put up the next chapter if no one reviews.] 


	2. From all the pain

Beautiful2  
  
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From all the pain  
  
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She decided not to go to practice any longer or to study. No one would care if she did or she did not. No one ever cared before so why would anyone care now?  
  
Besides today was the day XiaoLang and his bride would arrive. She did not resent his new bride, she liked her. His bride was nice and kind. She knew she could never be as good as her. As hard as she tired his bride was still better than she was.  
  
It wasn't as if she did not know what was happening when she was still in Japan. He had a crush on her the moment he saw her. And when she came back home she knew what would happen. He even wrote letter to her telling her about his new bride. She was the first to know that he was going to ask her to be his bride.  
  
As she walked out the door her mother gave her a letter, "He's still writing you letters, you still have a chance."  
  
She opened the letter when she was safely away from her house. It read:  
  
Dear Meilin,  
  
I hope this gets to you. When I'm back home I want you to come meet me in your garden. We have to talk, okay? I'll see you. Come around midnight. We have to talk.  
  
Signed,  
  
XiaoLang  
  
It was only ten in the morning. She looked at the letter again. Maybe she would go; she didn't have anything else to do.  
  
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Everyone waited for their arrival in the main house, everyone but Meilin. She waited for his arrival in the garden. It was a nice night. There was a full moon and so many stars you couldn't even begin to count. The fireflies were out and the clouds weren't. The flowers were sleeping and so were the birds.  
  
She was waiting since their arrival before the sun even went down. She didn't mind, she'd always liked sitting out in the garden looking at the stars, moon, and planets.  
  
"I didn't think you'd show," said a familiar voice. She didn't answer but did turn around. "How long have you been out here?"  
  
"For a while."  
  
"I saw you here since I got here at three."  
  
"I didn't notice I was here for such a long time."  
  
"You missed dinner."  
  
"I don't eat in the main house."  
  
"Since when?"  
  
"For a while now."  
  
"Everything looks exactly as I left it, except you." She looked down at her feet. "You look so different, I wouldn't have even recognized you if you didn't have that red hair pendant."  
  
She looked up at his face. "You look exactly the same, brown eyes, black hair."  
  
He chuckled, "Yeah. So how have you been?"  
  
"How do I look like I've been."  
  
"Okay," he said not being sure of himself.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Why didn't you ever write to me about yourself? You would always ask about how I was doing but you would never tell me about life back home."  
  
"What's there to tell. You've lived here before."  
  
"Yeah, but… never mind. Meilin I was wondering if you'd be part of the wedding."  
  
She looked at him, "Why?"  
  
"Why? You're my best friend."  
  
"I'm sorry but I can't, besides you've got tons of other people willing to be part of the ceremony," she said as she got up and left. She left him there as she walked out of the estate.   
  
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It was midnight and a dangerous time to be in the streets of Hong Kong. She's been out before but not this late. She didn't know where she was going but she just kept walking. She walked all night. The sun came up in front of her. She knew where she was. She's been here before and knew how to get back but didn't want to go back.  
  
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[End of CH 2.]  
  
December 25, 2002 


	3. I’m so ashamed

Beautiful3  
  
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I'm so ashamed  
  
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She wondered the streets lonely and exhaustion. She'd been walking all night now. No where to go, no where to stay.  
  
She walked up a familiar street. It was full of merchants and stalls just like other streets but this one was special. She felt like she belonged to this street like everyone else around her. Everyone was kind of lost; no one knew what they wanted. But they knew they'd find it here.  
  
"Young lady, this pendant would look great with that hairpin," said a lady holding up a beautiful red flower pendant almost identical to her hairpin. "Try it on." Meilin put the pin on her worn black and gold blouse. It did look great, "Beautiful."  
  
"Thank you, but I don't think I have enough money to purchase such a beautiful pin."  
  
"Don't worry about it, such a beautiful pin should not be parted from its rightful owner."  
  
"No, No, I could not accept such a gift without payment."  
  
"If you're so persistent in paying me then, you must smile for me."  
  
Meilin smiled, "Thank You."  
  
"See, it is not so hard," the lady said to her.  
  
Meilin walked away with a smile on her face and a new pendant on her blouse.  
  
[January 6, 2003]  
  
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She continued roaming the streets and smiling light heartily. Receiving the pendant renewed her spirit and her energy. There was something special about the pendant.  
  
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The sun was starting to set and she'd been gone all night and all day. She hadn't eaten all day and she knew that she had to return home eventually. But how would she explain her absence. Maybe, no one noticed she was gone. It's not like anyone even paid any attention to her. She could just sneak back into her room and pretend she'd been there all this time.  
  
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It wasn't hard getting past the entrance gate to the estate. Everyone was probably at dinner in the main house, since no one was out side. Getting to her house was simple enough. And even entering the house without question was easy. No one was home. Not even the maid was there. She walked into her room and still, nothing. No one had noticed her absence.  
  
But the picture of XiaoLang and her had been moved, slightly. It was suppose to be on her dresser right next to one of her books. It was but it wasn't exactly where she'd left it. Someone had been in her room and touched her belongings.   
  
Her parents didn't care enough to ever come in and the maids didn't dare come inside. No one has been in her room since… It's been a long, long time since anyone's been in her room except herself.  
  
She closed her eyes and tried to sense the aurora of the person going through her things. She could feel it but it was too weak to make out whom it belonged to. She looked around her room and couldn't find anything different except for the picture being moved. But she was sure someone entered her room.  
  
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She awoke to her usual morning routine. Except she felt someone else in the room with her. She looked around only to find him in her room. "Why were you in here yesterday?"  
  
He turned around slowly, "I still needed to talk to you. Where were you?"  
  
"Why are you so determined to talk with me? What is there to talk about? There is no need to bring up those old issues that everyone has gotten over with."  
  
He looked down and was about to say something but stopped before anything came out and nodded. "Sorry," was all he said as he walked out of her room.   
  
She got up, determined to go back and repay the woman that gave her the pendant. She didn't have much but it should be enough to pay for the pendant.  
  
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No one stopped her as she walked outside the estate and called for a taxi. She got to the street and searched for the stand where she had received the pendant yesterday but couldn't find it anywhere. She even attempted to search for the woman's aurora but still couldn't feel anything. It was like she wasn't ever there. Meilin continued to ask people if anyone has seen the woman she was looking for but no one ever remembered anyone selling pendants in her description. Meilin was starting to doubt if the woman ever existed.  
  
But she was holding in her hand the pendant that she was given yesterday, by that non-existent woman.   
  
Meilin looked all day but couldn't find anyone fitting that description and decided that maybe she just imagined her and probably stole the pendant or something. But everyone whom she talked to said they've never seen that pendant.  
  
It was getting late so it was best if she went home.  
  
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When she entered the garden she was greeted by, the newly engaged couple.  
  
Right when his bride saw Meilin she ran up and gave her a hug, accompanied by tears. "You've changed so much, Meilin. You look so different. We've missed you so much."  
  
Meilin hugged her back but without tears, "I've missed you guys too."  
  
"Where have you been all this time? I've been looking for you but I couldn't find you anywhere. I even went to your house."  
  
"I just had to go somewhere."  
  
Sakura smiled and held her friend, "Tomoyo's here too but I don't know where she is at the moment."  
  
"That's okay. I'll see her later."  
  
"Meilin, I have to get my wedding outfit measurements. Do you want to come with me, please?"  
  
Meilin looked at XiaoLang with his smile and then back at Sakura with her pleading face and reluctantly went with them to the main house.  
  
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When they entered to the room where they were measuring everyone, XiaoLang's sisters, Tomoyo, and Yelen greeted them. XiaoLang had left them in there to go get his own measurements in another room. Tomoyo came up to her and gave her a big bear hug.   
  
"Wow. You are so beautiful Meilin," said Tomoyo. "You look so different since the last time I saw you."  
  
Meilin nodded and smiled back at her.  
  
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[End of CH 3.]  
  
April 22, 2003 


	4. So consumed in all your doom

Beautiful4  
  
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So consumed in all your doom  
  
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When everyone was called for dinner Meilin slipped out side and into the garden behind the main house. It was a magnificent night. The full moon was being reflected by the pond and was flooding the garden with light. The fireflies were also out. The flower blossoms were floating peacefully onto the pond's surface. And the crickets were singing to her. She sat on the garden bench a long time before she realized someone else was with her.  
  
"How long have you been standing behind me?"  
  
"Since you were out here," Meilin didn't respond but did turn around to face him.  
  
Meilin looked at him for a while and nodded for him to come over and set next to her. "So what are we going to talk about?"  
  
They didn't look at each other while they spoke but instead stared into the pond.   
  
"Are you really not going to participate in the wedding ceremony?"  
  
"I've seen everyone volunteering. You don't need me to be there, I'll just be in the way."  
  
"That's not true. Sakura and I really want you there."  
  
"I'll come."  
  
"That's not what I mean."  
  
"I know what you mean, but I can't do it."  
  
He nodded at the last comment and hesitated before asking, "Are you okay with this? I know you've said that you were happy for us before, but…"  
  
"You two are great together. You guys are a great team. You two were made for each other. It was fate that she became the cardcaptor and you went to Japan to help her."  
  
He took one more look at her and hugged her, "I want you to know that if you ever need anything, I'm here for you."  
  
She smiled at his last comment and nodded.  
  
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He held her there motionless under the moon longer than they remembered and was torn away by the noise everyone was making returning home. Meilin spotted her parents with everyone else and followed them.  
  
When they finally reached their house Meilin was told to wait for them in the living room. Sitting there she thought about what and why they needed to talk to her after all this time. They haven't said anything important to her in years.  
  
"Meilin," said her mother in a harsh tone, "we noticed that XiaoLang was not with us at dinner." Meilin kept looking where she always looked when her parents talked to her. "Was he with you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He wants me to participate in the ceremony."  
  
Her mom raised an eyebrow and looked at her suspiciously. "Is that so…" Meilin didn't answer but kept looking at her feet. "You are to not participate, do you hear me."  
  
"Yes. I have told him, so."  
  
"Good, it's about time you did something right. But if you would've started out doing things right we wouldn't be in this mess now, would we? I thought that maybe you could still get him but you were too pitiful. Didn't possess any magic. Worthless, especially now since you don't have him any longer. What are we to do with you?" Meilin didn't answer. "Go to your room."  
  
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The moonlight shone over her body as she lay on her bed looking at the ceiling. It was so familiar. So many countless nights spent staring at the ceiling choking back tears. Her pillows were soaked with tear-stains as well as her blanket. But there weren't any more tears still left in her. They were all gone, used up. As were her feelings. They weren't used up but they were decaying. There was no use for feelings in her life.  
  
She'd still missed XiaoLang and how he use to hold her when she cried but there was no longer anyone to hold her. Earlier when he was holding her it was comforting, but the promise he'd made to her was more complicated. She wanted to go to him and tell him that she still loved him and how her parents were so vindictive towards her but that was something she could never do. She could never go to him for help when he comes to her for help.  
  
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[End of CH 4.]  
  
April 24, 2003 


	5. Trying hard to fill the emptiness

Beautiful5  
  
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Trying hard to fill the emptiness  
  
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Meilin didn't realize she had fell asleep until she awoke the next morning. She thought about XiaoLang holding her in his arms and how safe and secure she felt there but then she remembered that he was going to never hold her again like that again. She felt so helpless at the mercy of her emotions.  
  
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The sun was already up when she walked outside and breathed in the morning air. It was heavy with dew but so refreshing.   
  
She was ready to go back to find the woman whom had given her the pendant. She hasn't worn it since and decided to wear it today with the matching hairpin in her hair bun. The way the red and gold contrasted with her black hair and her black Chinese dress was just perfect. She walked with confidence to the gate but was stopped by one of the maids.  
  
"Miss, your Aunt Yelen would like to talk to you later."  
  
"When?"  
  
"She wants to meet with you for afternoon tea, in the main garden."  
  
Meilin nodded and was off again. Today was going to be different, she could feel it.  
  
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Walking down the same street she'd been walking down for the past three days she noticed nothing different. Everything was exactly as it was when she left it. Except, she noticed a stall that she missed yesterday. It was small and contained a few items; the man was selling jewelry. How could she miss this stall?  
  
She walked up to it slowly as if it would disappear when it noticed her. "Excuse me, sir."  
  
"Yes, how may I help you today."  
  
"I was wondering if you'd ever seen this kind of pendant before?" She handed him the pendant.  
  
He examined it a moment before speaking, "I have one kinda like that but isn't as nice."  
  
"A woman was selling that about a day and a night ago, do you happen to know who she was?"  
  
"I'm sorry but there is no woman on this street who sells this kind of jewelry."  
  
"Okay, thanks anyway." Meilin turned to go back home, when he called her back.  
  
"I do know someone who use to own a pendant like that but she wasn't here a day and a night ago," he looked at her uneasily, "she was my mother. But she's been dead for over 15 years. She looked kind of like you. In her pictures she looked like you, anyway…" Meilin looked at him stunned "I never actually saw her myself, she died after giving birth to me. In every picture I have of her, she's wearing that pendant and that hairpin. They were made for her. She was buried with them on."  
  
Meilin didn't know how to respond to what he just told her, "…"  
  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't had said all that to you. I'm sorry."  
  
"No, no, it's okay. Do you happen to have any pictures of her with you?" he pulled out a wrinkled picture from his wallet. Meilin looked at it carefully. The woman was wearing the same exact pendant and hairpin. She looked exactly like Meilin. "When was this taken?"  
  
"About a year before she died. It was the day she met my father. Kind of scary, isn't it?"  
  
"I guess you could say that. Can I ask you something about her?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Did she possess any magic?" He looked at her in disbelief, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that." Meilin saw the time on one of the clocks behind him, "Sorry but will you be here tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Can I come back and talk to you tomorrow, I have to be somewhere?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
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She didn't have time to collect her thoughts before her meeting with her aunt. It had been a while since her last conversation with her. People rarely spoke to Meilin; they often spoke of her but not to her. By the time she reached the gazebo her aunt had already finished her cup of tea.  
  
"Sorry I am late Aunt Yelen."  
  
"That's okay Meilin," she sat down across from her aunt and accepted the cup being handed to her by the maid. "As you know XiaoLang is going to marry Sakura. But you were promised to be with him." Meilin didn't speak but listened carefully. "Are you okay with this."  
  
Meilin thought that it was kind of late to be asking her things like this, "I gave him consent and encouraged him to marry Sakura."  
  
She looked at Meilin sympathetically and noticed her new pendant, "That's quite a pendant."  
  
"Oh, yes. A woman I met about two days ago gave it to me."  
  
"Then who gave you the hairpin."  
  
"Oh," Meilin gave it considerable thought but couldn't come up with an answer, "I can't remember."  
  
"I use to know someone who owned a pendant and hairpin that looked exactly like those but…"  
  
"She died 15 years ago and looked exactly like me?" Yelen looked at her in shock. "The reason I was late was because I was talking to her son."  
  
"Zhuge Liang, he should be around you and XiaoLang's age."  
  
"Did she possess any magic?"  
  
Yelen judiciously chose her words, "They were as strong as mine now, before she passed away."  
  
"Then why don't I possess any magic?"  
  
"She is not you, Meilin."  
  
"But I am a Li and all Li's possess magic, even if it is not much. Both my mother and father possess strong magic."  
  
"Everyone grows with their own time."  
  
"I've grown and I haven't received any magic, Aunt Yelen. Besides everyone was born with magic in their blood, except me. Even the elders have said that I won't receive any magic."  
  
Meilin didn't wait to get dismissed she walked out of the main garden into her own garden.  
  
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[End of CH 5.]  
  
April 24, 2003 


	6. The pieces gone

Beautiful6  
  
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The pieces gone  
  
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Meilin's own garden was smaller than the main garden but it was just as beautiful. It had everything the main garden had, except it was smaller. No one came into the garden; it was just like her room. No one ventured inside, in case their magic could somehow vanished if they came into contact with her. But Meilin enjoyed the solitary time. No one to bother her.  
  
The sun was just at the horizon and was slowly disappearing. It would soon be dinnertime and everyone would be in the main house. Maybe she could sneak out and run away. But where would she go? Everyone she'd ever known is here and is going to be eating dinner soon.  
  
She looked up at the sky as if the answer was written in the clouds. But like every time she'd looked up, there were no answers just clouds moving with the wind.  
  
Maybe she would run away, she had her passport and enough money to support her, for a while. But where would she go? Not to Japan, but she didn't want to stay in China. She did know some English. Maybe she would go to America or England. Wait not England because she knew that she had some family there.  
  
It was settled, she was going to America. What would she do there, though? Maybe she could get a job as a chief or something. "Egh…" she said in frustration. "What am I doing. This isn't going to work."  
  
She decided that maybe she just needs to sleep on it. You know what people say, "Things always look better tomorrow."  
  
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After she woke up the next morning she started to pack her things. She still had the same suitcase she used when she went to Japan. They still had the stickers and name-tags on it. She ripped them off and threw them in the trash.   
  
There wasn't much to put in the suitcases, just some clothes, a book or two, and her picture of 'the gang'. Everyone looked so carefree and happy. It was an old picture and even though she didn't want any reminders this one was of her nostalgic time in Japan.  
  
She was going to run away when everyone went to breakfast. It was the perfect time, no one would notice that she was gone until maybe XiaoLang and Sakura's wedding. But even then only he would notice that she wasn't there.  
  
Getting out a piece of parchment and a brush she thought of what she was going to write to XiaoLang. There was no need to write a letter to anyone else, he was the only one who ever cared.  
  
XiaoLang,  
  
Sorry I can't come to your wedding. It's too difficult. I really am happy that you're going to be happy with Sakura. She is a good person, you treat her good. I guess I could never be good enough. And my parents hate me. I'm just a burden on them. Besides I'm just a blemish in the Li name. Tell everyone I'm sorry I couldn't be what they wanted. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted. But maybe things will be better without me here. Can you do me a favor and watch over my garden, make sure you take care of my birds.  
  
Love,  
  
Meilin  
  
PS. Don't try to find me.   
  
She folded the letter in half and sealed it with a kiss. She put it in her pocket. She continued to clean her room. There wasn't anything to clean but she didn't have anything else to do. And breakfast wouldn't start for another hour.  
  
She kept her eye on the clock. It was almost time to go. She called a taxi before she stepped out of her room for the last time. Walking to her garden she sighed and reminisced of her peaceful time there. She said goodbye to all her childhood happiness there.  
  
By the time she had reached the gate the taxi had arrived. She almost forgot about her letter to XiaoLang, so she gave it to one of the servants working at the gate. He was the only one who wasn't in the main house.  
  
While the taxi was driving off she didn't look back but she looked towards her future. Where was it going to lead her?  
  
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[End of CH 6.I decided to upload all of these stories at one time, or else i wouldn't do it. but if you did read all of them, review please. and i'm actually working on ch7 right now. so must go work.]  
  
May 09, 2003 


	7. Left the puzzle undone

Beautiful7  
  
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Left the puzzle undone  
  
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The rumbling of the taxi was somewhat comforting. It was something new. She wanted new experiences. She wanted a new life.  
  
The rumbling taxi stopped in front of the same street it had just pasted minutes ago. It was the street where Meilin received the magical pendant. Everything was the same but today nothing felt the same. It was wonderful, as if she some how could flap her wings and not be trapped by her cage.  
  
She set off to the stall she promised to come back to yesterday. The same young man that had been there was still there. He resembled someone she knew but she couldn't put her finger on it. Black hair and brown eyes is a typical description of a Chinese man but he was different. She just couldn't figure out why.  
  
"Hello," said Meilin in a tone of voice she didn't recognize.  
  
"Oh, hello"  
  
"Can we talk later, when you're not working?"  
  
He glanced at one of the clocks hanging in the background and replied, "I'm free in 20 minutes."  
  
"Thanks. I'll be back." She turned around confidently and strolled down the street. She went back to the little inn she just checked into before she came down to see Zhuge Liang. It wasn't very far away.  
  
----------  
  
When she returned to the stall she noticed that there was someone else with him, he was much older but looked like maybe it could be his father. "Hello."  
  
"Hello," he replied but she could see the expression of the older man. He looked quite shocked.  
  
"May we go?"  
  
"Father, I will be back soon," the older man nodded and they were off.  
  
----------  
  
They didn't go anywhere particular but just to the same little restaurant at the end of the street. They were seated at a table in the corner. The building didn't look very nice from the outside but the inside was very comfortable.  
  
"So…" started Meilin. "Did you tell your father about me?"  
  
"Well, no. I didn't think that he'd really need to know. But I think he's going to ask me about you after I return."  
  
"How much time do we have?"  
  
"I can return when we're done."  
  
"Okay, that's good." She wanted to ask so much, but didn't know where to start. "Do you have a strange feeling like you know who I am but you can't figure out who I am?"  
  
He hesitated before answering, "Well, when I first saw you I thought I was seeing a ghost."  
  
"Oh," responded a surprised Meilin.  
  
"Do you know much about your mother?"  
  
"Not very much because my father doesn't speak of her much, maybe you should talk to my brother, but-."  
  
"Wait, so you're Zhuge Liang?"  
  
"Oh, I am."  
  
"So how many brothers and sisters do you have?"  
  
"I only have one brother. My mom only had the two of us."  
  
"Oh, so can I talk to your brother?"  
  
"Well, I'll tell him but he might not want to talk to you."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I can give him your phone number."  
  
"I currently don't have one. If your brother wants to meet me then I'll be in here tomorrow," responded Meilin as she was leaving.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin laid on the borrowed bed, it was different. It wasn't uncomfortable but it was just not what she was use to. And the thoughts that wondered in her head were different. She stared at the unfamiliar ceiling thinking, "Does anyone even know that I'm gone? Why would anyone care…"  
  
She slipped off into a dream before realizing she was falling asleep. In her dream she could see XiaoLang and she was running towards him but couldn't reach him, she kept running and running but could never get close enough to him. But she saw someone else next to him and she ran towards him instead. She only took a step forward but she reached him. Before she could look up and see who he was, she woke up.  
  
As she got ready for another day she tried to recall her dream. The more she tried to remember it, the more it slipped away from her. After a while she figured that if it was an important dream then it'll come to her and she would not need to try so hard to remember it.  
  
----------  
  
She decided that if she was going to live by herself she needed to work. She wasn't going to stay here forever, only until she found what she was looking for. Not sure exactly what she was looking but she would know it when she found it.  
  
She remembered seeing a "help wanted" sign yesterday at the restaurant. Maybe she could work there, she was a great cook and she's been serving people all her life.  
  
----------  
  
She walked confidently into the same restaurant from yesterday. She asked for the manager and did an interview right there and then. This was going to be her first real job; she was excited. The manager looked at her and told her she was hired.  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"All you have to do is wait on tables,"  
  
"Oh. Okay then."  
  
"When are you able to start?"  
  
"I can start tomorrow if you want."  
  
"Great, tomorrow at 9 am."  
  
"Thanks," said Meilin as the manager walked away.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin was shown to a small both in the corner as she waited for the Zhuge Liang's older brother. It was only noon so she wasn't sure how long she'd have to wait until he showed up. Assuming that Zhuge Liang was her age, which meant that his brother couldn't be that much older. So she was on the look out for some guy she's never seen but did have a rough estimate on his age.  
  
She ended up waiting for him for two hours. He was taller then XiaoLang. He had not exactly long, but not exactly short hair; it was just the perfect length. His big hazel eyes shone brightly as it reflected the sunlight. But he would've looked a lot better if he didn't have a frown on his face.  
  
"You Meilin?" he asked formally.  
  
"Yes, are you Zhuge Liang's brother?"  
  
"Yes," he said as he sat down across from her. "Why'd you want to see me?"  
  
"Didn't Zhuge Liang tell you?"  
  
"No, he just told me someone wanted to meet me here, today. Named Meilin."  
  
"Oh, okay. Well, can I ask you some questions about your mother?"  
  
He looked at her suspiciously, "Why?"  
  
Meilin looked at him uncertainly, "Don't you think it's kind of weird I look like your mother?"  
  
"What about it, all Chinese girls have brown eyes and black hair. What's so special about you?"  
  
"What's special is your mother and I own her jewelry," said Meilin holding out the red flowers.  
  
"You could've gotten those any where."  
  
"I know, I got them from your mother."  
  
He looked at her surprise all over his face, "How dare you, my mother is gone." With those words he got up and left her by herself again.  
  
----------  
  
[End of CH.7. Okay, so this is as far as I've gotten until now. This is the longest story I've ever written. I've written really short ones and this one isn't that long but I think I've got my muse back to write, plus I don't have to work today. Next one could take weeks, if not months. That's why I put the date down when I write a part. Helps me to see how long it takes to write one chapter, too long. But I promise there will be another chapter. And I promise myself that I will finish this story. It's so easy to start a project but so hard to finish, to even get halfway is an accomplishment for me. But I have to finish this! Enough ranting for now. ^_^ thanks for the reviews!]  
  
July 6, 2003 


	8. Is that the way it is

Beautiful8  
  
----------  
  
Is that the way it is  
  
----------  
  
She didn't mean to say it like that but there was no other way to say it. Maybe she should go and apologize. She still didn't get what she came here for. So it was a good thing she found this job because it looked like she was going to be here a while.  
  
[July 6, 2003]  
  
----------  
  
Meilin stared idly out the window. Clouds covered the moon and the stars. She couldn't see anything in the sky except nothingness. It was empty.  
  
"What am I doing here," she asked herself. "So far I've got nothing. Wait, I got a job." She smiled to herself. "What would the family think now. 'You have a job!' 'Who would hire you?'" Meilin frowned and stopped thinking what her family would say if they found out she actually had a job. She began thinking about XiaoLang and Sakura. "They should be on their honeymoon now. And they'd probably be coming back to live on the estate. He was going to be the head of the Li household."  
  
She filled her thoughts with XiaoLang and fell asleep on her bed.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin found herself running again. She could see XiaoLang clearly in the distance. She could also see someone else. He was taller than XiaoLang but that's all she could make out. He was farther then XiaoLang. She kept running towards XiaoLang but was always a step too short to get to him. The guy behind him had his arms opened and was waiting for her. She walked towards him and into his arms. He was so warm and comforting. He smelled like vanilla. She looked up but his chin kept her from seeing his face. She could see XiaoLang coming towards them but he stopped before he got to them. He looked sad.  
  
----------  
  
Waking up with a smile on her face, Meilin could recall her dream perfectly. She slowly rose from the bed, still thinking about the guy in her dreams. "He was so warm and smelled so good", was all she could think.  
  
----------  
  
She arrived for her new job earlier than she intended so she wandered the street. She could see a young couple in front of a small café. She looked closer and saw that the young couple was in fact XiaoLang and Sakura. Meilin quickly and quietly turned around. She kept walking towards the restaurant she was supposed to be by now. She didn't dare turn around, in case they saw her.  
  
[July 16, 2003]  
  
[Not the end of the chapter, but you guys deserve something. So this is as far as I am. I'll try to post the full chapter by next week Friday. I'm going camping, so I'm not even sure when I can update again. Pray for me, camping = no computer. *_* I will somehow have to make it back… if I don't get eaten by a bear. I always wanted to say that. Bye for now.]  
  
[So this is the rest of the chapter.]  
  
----------  
  
"Ohmigod!" Meilin screamed in her head. "He-they are supposed to be on their honeymoon… I hope they're not trying to look for me! That's XiaoLang for you, tell him to not look for you and the first thing he does is try to look for you!"  
  
Meilin walked in the small restaurant to start her new career as a… waitress.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin worked like se never worked before, well technically this was the first time she actually worked but she's never thought she'd ever work this hard before. She got orders and gave people their food. She cleared tables. She even washed the dishes.  
  
When she walked out that day she felt like she accomplished something immense.  
  
----------  
  
"Maybe I should change how I look," she thought to herself as she lay on the bed. "I could maybe bleach my hair or just get it cut. Maybe I could do both! Get some new clothes. And just not look like the old me, this is the new me! A hard working and independent Meilin!"  
  
She decided that tomorrow after work, she was going to go get her hair cut and not bleach it but get some red streaks. She wasn't going to get any new clothes though, she didn't have the money for it, yet.  
  
She fell asleep thinking about her 'new look'.  
  
----------  
  
Someone that smelled like vanilla was holding her tightly. "You smell so good," Meilin said to him.  
  
"Thanks," said a deep voice back.  
  
"Have we met before? You sound familiar."  
  
"Probably."  
  
Meilin tried to look up but he was holding her in a way that she couldn't see his face. "What's your name?" Meilin asked him.  
  
"You don't need to know," he said softly to her.  
  
"But, I want to know."  
  
"It's no use here."  
  
"Here? Where are we?"  
  
"Anywhere you want to be…"  
  
*BEEEEPPP, BEEEEPPP, BEEEPPPPP…*  
  
Unhappily Meilin slammed on her new alarm clock. *sigh…* "What a great dream," thought Meilin.  
  
----------  
  
It was getting close to the end of her shift as she saw XiaoLang outside the restaurant. He looked in but Meilin was already hiding behind one of the booths. When she got up again, he was gone. "That was close," she said out loud.  
  
"What was close?" said one of her coworkers.  
  
"Nothing… Just… Is my shift over?"  
  
"Yea. My turn now…" she grumbled.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin walked the streets suspiciously in case someone jumped out from behind something and shouted, "HA! I caught you. Now you must come back! Mwuah ha ha haa…"  
  
"Now, I'm just paranoid," she said to herself as she walked into a hair salon.  
  
----------  
  
But as she walked out she wasn't paranoid whatsoever. She didn't look anything like what she came in. She now had short, choppy, layered, red streaked hair. No one would be able to recognize her now, not even XiaoLang.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin was happy to go to sleep; she was looking forward to it since she woke up this morning.  
  
----------  
  
"You're back," uttered a deep soothing voice. "But, you don't look like you."  
  
"Yea," Meilin said touching her hair, remembering what she'd done earlier. "I wanted to be a new person so I had to look like a new person."  
  
"What was so bad about the old you?"  
  
"My life."  
  
"I see." Meilin clutched him tighter. "Cry as much as you want, I'm going to be here for you."  
  
Meilin didn't even realize that tears were streaming down her face. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. I'm here for you."  
  
Meilin stopped crying as she smiled and stayed in his warm embrace. She didn't try to look up; this was all she needed, to be held by him.  
  
*BEEEEPPP, BEEEEPPP, BEEEPPPPP…*  
  
Meilin groggily slammed on her alarm clock.  
  
----------  
  
As she worked all-day she tried to remember his voice. He sounded so familiar. She was so sure that they'd met before, but where?  
  
At the end of her shift she still couldn't figure out who's voice that was.   
  
----------  
  
[End of CH 8. This is a reasonable length for a chapter, right? I have no idea where I'm going from here, but it just flows as I type. Any ideas as to who this mysterious guy is? So you guys like her new look? This is how I want my new look. I'm going to be a rebel and go cut my long black hair like that. But maybe w/o the red highlights. My hair is long too, like past your butt long. Too long and annoying, I didn't cut it before because my mom wouldn't let me but I'm going to do it this summer because I need to be different for my senior year. No promises as to when I'm going to update this.]  
  
[July 17, 2003] 


	9. You are beautiful

Beautiful9  
  
----------  
  
You are beautiful  
  
----------  
  
Meilin was checking her calendar, "Wow, I can't believe I've been gone for a month now." She smiled at this accomplishment.  
  
She's been living on her own for a month now. Working as a waitress at a small restaurant and has been on the look out for XiaoLang, in case he was looking for her. She was also on the look out for the man in her dreams.  
  
So far all she'd figured out about him was that he was tall, had black hair, and smelled like vanilla. This was going to be harder than she thought. "Maybe it really is all a dream," she thought to herself. "I mean he only shows up in my dreams." Sighing loudly she closed her eyes as she imagined his arms around her.  
  
"I still haven't gotten anywhere on the pendant thing," she scolded herself. "I need to find that kid again. But what I really need is to talk to his brother." She frowned, concentrating hard. "But he didn't seem to like me asking questions about his mother." Suddenly an idea popped into her head. "I can ask the father!"  
  
----------  
  
It was one of the few days off of work when she was cruising the same street she got her pendant. She was wearing both the hairpin and pendant proudly. It matched perfectly with her red hair and blouse.  
  
She looked for their stall and casually walked over. "Hello," said Meilin.  
  
"Hello," said the older brother.  
  
Meilin smiled, "He doesn't know who I am," she thought to herself. "Is your father here?"  
  
"No, I'm the only one here today. Perhaps you could come tomorrow, he will surely be here."  
  
Meilin didn't know why but he sounded so familiar, "OHMIGOD!" she screamed as she turned around.  
  
"Excuse me? Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes. Yes. I am just dandy. O-Okay, I'll be back tomorrow. Umm… Thank you…" stammered Meilin as she stalked off.  
  
----------  
  
She wasn't watching where she was going and walked into someone, "Sorry," she said as she returned to concentrating on the dream guy.  
  
"Meilin?" said the person she walked into.  
  
Meilin was surprised to see that someone knew her, she didn't even tell her boss her real name, and instead everyone called her "Lynn."  
  
"Is that you?" said the same person. Meilin turned around slowly. "Ohmigod! It is you!"  
  
"Sa-Sa-Sakura…" stuttered Meilin.  
  
"Meilin! I can't believe it's you!"  
  
"Yea… Same here."  
  
Sakura pulled Meilin into a bear hug. "We missed you soooo MUCH!" she said as she squeezed Meilin.  
  
"I uh… can't… breathe."  
  
"Sorry, I'm just so happy to see you. I can't wait to tell Li."  
  
Meilin's heart almost stopped, "What? You can't."  
  
"Why not? He's been looking for you for like a month now. He's so worried about you."  
  
"Oh, he thinks I can't handle it being on my own. He thinks I need to be baby-sat."  
  
"Meilin, that's not what I meant. Can we go somewhere to talk?"  
  
Meilin looked around to see if they could go anywhere where Sakura wouldn't be able to find her again. "Yeah, follow me."  
  
----------  
  
Meilin led them to the same little café she's seen her and XiaoLang before.  
  
"You know, Li and I always come here."  
  
They sat outside close to the building. "Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah, but lately he's been busy so we haven't been here for a while now."  
  
"What's he doing now?"  
  
"Oh, he's all into his training and he's always doing something. But we're here to talk about you. Where have you been? What have you been doing? Why did you leave-"  
  
"-It's a long story," Meilin cut Sakura off. "I've been doing okay. Don't worry about me. I left for a lot of reasons."  
  
"You know, after you left Li tried kicking your parents out of the estate."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He was pretty angry at them."  
  
"What?" repeated Meilin in disbelief.  
  
"They didn't leave but now they live in a really small house."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, now Li and I live in your house."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't worry, we didn't touch your room. It's exactly as you left it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Meilin, we want you to come back and live with us."  
  
"What? Wait, no."  
  
"Well, not forever, you know just until you get married or something."  
  
"Sorry, but I already have somewhere to stay so you guys can change my room all you want."  
  
"Meilin listen, Li didn't really tell me why you left. He just vaguely said that you were sad and needed to go away. I still don't understand why."  
  
"Sakura, you wouldn't understand. Everyone loves you and they need you."  
  
"Try to make me understand then."  
  
"Fine, my parents hate me. My family thinks I'm just a burden. And I'm no use to anyone."  
  
Sakura looked at Meilin with a new face, not pity but understanding, "I do understand. Maybe not as much as you do but I get it. That's why you left?"  
  
"Yes. I needed to find somewhere that I wasn't me."  
  
"But you are a wonderful person." Tears came to Meilin's eyes. She looked up to see Sakura's eyes also filled with tears. "You have helped me when I needed help. I have been such a bad friend. I have never helped you before. You haven't ever needed me to help you. I thought you were such a strong person. You never needed anyone's help. You could do everything yourself."  
  
"Sakura, you won't tell anyone that you saw me, right?"  
  
"I-I… no. I won't tell anyone as long as we get together every week, okay?" Sakura said with a smile on her face.  
  
Meilin hesitated but also smiled back, "Deal."  
  
----------  
  
Meilin watched as her friend walked off into the distance. It had been a very, very long day, and it was only 2 in the after noon. "Should I go back and talk to that guy some more," she asked herself. "Is he really the guy from my dreams?"  
  
Getting up with courage she walked back to the same street she had just been a while ago.  
  
----------  
  
"Oh, hello. My father still isn't here."  
  
"I… uhh… I'm not here to see your father."  
  
"Okay, then can I help you?"  
  
Meilin hesitated and wasn't sure what to say or where to begin so she started from the beginning. "Do you remember that girl that your brother told you wanted to meet you in a small restaurant like a month ago?" He looked at her suspiciously. "Well, surprise! It's me, Meilin."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"See, I've got the pendant and hairpin."  
  
"Oh, now I remember. What do you want?" he said uncouthly.  
  
"I wanted to apologize if I offended you. I didn't mean to say it like that, it just came out wrong."  
  
"Fine. Is that all?"  
  
"I-I guess…"  
  
"Don't bother asking my father about her. He doesn't even talk to us about her."  
  
"I'm sorry. I should be going now." She turned around and started to walk away. She made it about 20 feet before she came back.  
  
"What is it now?"  
  
"Can I smell you?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Umm… I know it sounds kind of unusual, some strange annoying girl asking to smell you but I just need to know if you're him."  
  
He gave her a strange look and shrugged his shudders, "I guess, but only if you leave me alone afterwards."  
  
Meilin leaned in and he smelled like…   
  
[End of CH 9. I know I'm evil for leaving this chapter as a cliffhanger. But I'll probably put the next chapter up right after this one. I tried putting up the last chapter last night but the server was down. L I was sad. Do you guys think the Sakura-Meilin scene was too sappy or not sappy enough? I'm not the touchy-feely kinda person. This is an attempt to be. But new chapter coming soon, I promise!]  
  
[July 18, 2003]  
  
[I almost have the tenth chap done. well, 50% done. it'll most likely be up by tomorrow. if not then by wednesday. better get back to typing.]  
  
[July 20, 2003] 


	10. No matter what they say

Beautiful10  
  
----------  
  
No matter what they say  
  
----------  
  
He smelled like… washing detergent. "Are you done now? People are starting to stare."  
  
"Yeah, sorry. I won't be bothering you again," said Meilin sadly.  
  
She walked forlornly back to her room to lay on her bed.  
  
"What a horrible day," she thought to herself. "First I think I meet the dream guy. Then I meet Sakura. And then I find out that he isn't the dream guy. *Arrggh*"  
  
She didn't want to fall asleep, in case she met the dream guy. He didn't always show up, only when she needed him. Right now she did need him but didn't want to see him.  
  
----------  
  
She found herself standing alone. She was no where. It seemed as if she was in a large white room but it had no walls, no ceiling, and no floor. She stood there waiting. Waiting…  
  
She wasn't sure what she was waiting for. She hoped she didn't see the dream guy again. She hoped she didn't see XiaoLang. She hoped she would wake-up soon.  
  
She could hear voices. And a scene was unfolding before her eyes.  
  
"Mama, come back."  
  
"I'll be back some day."  
  
"Worthless."  
  
"Sorry. I'm sorry."  
  
"Just leave us alone. Forever!"  
  
"No! MAMA!!!"  
  
She could see herself crying. A man was throwing her out of a house. There was two little boys behind him, they were crying. There was also a baby crying in the background. The man slammed the door in her face. She saw herself running into the forest.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin woke up with a jerk and in a cold sweat. "What in the world was that?" she asked herself. She could see the sun rising. Looking at her alarm clock she could read the red blur as 6:05. She squinted her eyes to read it better, the sun wasn't rising, but instead it was going down.  
  
She got up and took a nice warm bubble bath. She lit vanilla candles. Her mind was filled with the dream guy. It shifted from the dream guy to XiaoLang. She remembered the look on his face when he reached them in one of her dreams. Now that she was thinking back upon it, he looked so sad.  
  
"He tried to kick my parents off of the estate… That's something, my mom is after all is his aunt. She might not be very powerful but she still has more magic than I do. My father on the other hand is almost a match for XiaoLang. With all this magic blood running through me, why don't I have any?" Frowning Meilin splashed some water onto the floor. She decided it was time to sleep. Hopefully no more disturbing dreams.  
  
----------  
  
It was a restful night. She didn't have any dreams. It was a mixed blessing. She was really hoping to see the dream guy. But she was happy she didn't have a disturbing dream.  
  
[July 18, 2003]  
  
Today was going to be hopefully a 'normal day'. She was just going to go to work. "Nothing special about today," she thought.  
  
----------  
  
It wasn't a special day but it was a night with another dream.  
  
Meilin was again in the same empty room. And the same house from the night before came into focus. It was at night this time, unlike yesterday when the scene was on a sunny day. There were two little boys playing in the front of the house. They were passing back and forth a little red ball. Their dad was calling them to come back inside the house. One of them went in but the other looked into the trees and ran towards them. He had a smile on his face. He kept running even when his dad came outside and called out to him. He disappeared into the trees.  
  
His dad was furious. He kept looked in the batch of trees but came out empty handed. He had tears in his eyes. He looked familiar.  
  
The scene faded away and she was in the empty room again.  
  
Meilin didn't really like this room; it made her feel very jumpy.  
  
But the room faded away into another scene.  
  
She saw herself with the little boy that just ran away from his dad.  
  
"Mama! Where were you? I missed you mama. Chou missed you too mama. I have to go get Chou."  
  
She had tears in her eyes. "We can't Shou. Chou has to stay with Papa. We have to go, okay?"  
  
"…Okay mama…" said Shou as he held his mom's hand and walked away.  
  
The room reappeared again.  
  
----------  
  
Finally, today was going to be her first 'meeting' with Sakura. She trusted Sakura so she was not scared about XiaoLang finding her. They were going to meet at the café again.  
  
When Meilin got there Sakura was already waiting for her at a table in the corner.  
  
"Meilin! Over here," said Sakura as Meilin walked over towards her.  
  
"Hello Sakura."  
  
"Don't worry about a thing. I didn't tell Li but he can tell that I was hiding something from him."  
  
"You were never a very good liar."  
  
"So how have you been since the last time we met?"  
  
"So is this some kind of, take care of Meilin since she can't take care of herself kind of thing?"  
  
Sakura looked kind of confused for a minute before answering, "No. Meilin, I just want to know how you're doing that's all."  
  
Meilin knew Sakura wasn't lying but she still had the feeling that Sakura was trying to protect her, even though she didn't need protecting. "I've been okay."  
  
"I have something to tell you… Not even Li knows about it… No one knows… But since I know something about you that no one else knows you should know something about me that no one else knows." Meilin sat quietly and continued to listen to Sakura as she got more and more nervous. "I think… I know that I'm… pregnant." Meilin's eyes widened. "I think I'm at least three months pregnant."  
  
"Why didn't you tell XiaoLang yet?"  
  
"I'm not sure how he'd take it."  
  
"Why doesn't Tomoyo know?"  
  
"She's always so busy and I haven't seen her for so long."  
  
"You need to tell XiaoLang."  
  
"I will. Just at the right moment."  
  
"Just tell him. He'll be excited. An heir."  
  
"It's well, she's a she."  
  
"Oh," said Meilin in surprise. "It doesn't matter, a baby's a baby."  
  
"Not to your family," said Sakura to Meilin's surprise. "XiaoLang told me the whole story of why you left. What if my baby doesn't have any magic either?"  
  
Meilin looked at Sakura with a new perspective. "I was only treated like that from my parents. You and XiaoLang would never treat your children that way."  
  
Sakura smiled, "So what about your love life? Is there a special person?"  
  
Meilin thought carefully about this question before answering, "Not really."  
  
"But there's _someone_ right?"  
  
"I guess you could say someone."  
  
"Who," said Sakura in anticipation.  
  
"He's well, it's kinda weird and I don't even really know who he is. There's this guy in my dreams. He's been in them for a while now. Always there to help me."  
  
Sakura's eyes widen and glossed, "How romantic! A dream lover."  
  
"I guess you could call him that."  
  
"So you two have never met in person."  
  
"I'm not even sure he even exists."  
  
"He has too. He's probably just waiting for you to find him. How does he look like?"  
  
"I'm not sure. He's tall though."  
  
"What? Not sure?"  
  
"I've never seen his face."  
  
"This is even more romantic," Sakura sighed.  
  
"Will you stop that. No I have not seen his face. But he smells like vanilla."  
  
Sakura practically turned to slush, "Kiwaii!"  
  
The rest of the meeting was spent with Sakura guessing what Meilin's dreams were about and Meilin disappointing her with saying, "No."  
  
[End of CH 10. Well, this is going to not be posted tonight because "Server not found" is still being displayed on my screen. Hopefully all this will be sorted out before I go to camp on Friday. So this isn't my fault. I wrote it, I just couldn't upload it. Does Sakura seem in character? I don't really have a firm grasp on her characterization. I can do everyone else it's just Sakura I have a problem with. Suggestions anyone?]  
  
[July 20, 2003] 


	11. Words can't bring you down

Beautiful11  
  
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Words can't bring you down  
  
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The view from her apartment window looked wonderful. She figured that she's going to be here even longer than expected, so she got herself an apartment.  
  
It over looked a small lake. Her bedroom window was directly facing it. There was even a balcony! Meilin smiled, as she smelled the fresh, clean air. "Ahhh… how refreshing," she thought.  
  
The apartment wasn't too small but it was just right, she was the only one living in it after all. There was a living room with nothing in it. It was connected to a kitchen with many cooking utensils. A bathroom with a huge bathtub could be found next to the living room. A bedroom with a beautiful view, a small bed, and a dresser.  
  
Meilin didn't really need anything else. She was content with what she had. Maybe she'd get a table or something. She already had everything she needed.  
  
Besides she'd made it this far already. "My two month away from everyone anniversary," she said out loud as she blew the candle out from a badly misshapen cake.  
  
----------  
  
It has been a month since she last dreamt of the dream guy. She was kind of sad that she didn't get to see him. "I'm acting silly," she said to herself. "It was only a dream after all. But he sure did smell great."  
  
Meilin fell asleep that night secretly wishing to see him again.  
  
----------  
  
"Welcome back," came a low sexy voice.  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
"Sorry, I've been busy."  
  
Meilin hugged him longingly. "I missed you."  
  
"As did I."  
  
"I don't want to spoil the moment but I need to know, are you real?"  
  
"What do you mean, 'real'?"  
  
"I mean, not just in my imagination."  
  
He chuckled, "So I'm your imaginary friend?"  
  
"I hope not."  
  
"As do I."  
  
Meilin was satisfied with this answer and continued being held in his arms.  
  
----------  
  
*BEEP BEEP BEEP* The pulsating alarm clock woke her up to another day.  
  
She was happy, even though her dream was over; at least she had it. Today was another secret meeting with Sakura day. It wasn't exactly a secret, but no body was to know that Sakura knew where Meilin was.  
  
They met during for lunch at a small restaurant. As usual Sakura was already waiting for her. She was sitting in one of the corners of the room.  
  
"Sorry I'm late," said Meilin as she sat down. Even though she wasn't late, she felt like she needed to say it.  
  
"You're not late, it's not noon yet."  
  
"Why do you come so early?"  
  
"If I don't then I'd always be late," laughed Sakura as she explained.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"So how do you like your new apartment?"  
  
"The view's beautiful."  
  
"When can I come visit?"  
  
"When are you going to tell XiaoLang about the baby?"  
  
"Stop trying to change the subject."  
  
"Then answer me and I'll answer you."  
  
"No fair, I asked first," Sakura pouted. "Fine. He's so busy. He's always doing this or that. Seems like he doesn't even have time for me anymore. But I'm planing on telling him, besides I'm getting bigger. He should've noticed by now. His mother has."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"I answered my question. Now it's your turn."  
  
"You can come visit on our next meeting. We can meet at my apartment."  
  
Sakura smiled, "That'll be great."  
  
"Well, I'll see you next week then."  
  
"I'll be there at three."  
  
"Okay, bye then."  
  
"Bye," waved Sakura.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin walked out of the small restaurant into the people filled street. She blended into them and found a furniture shop. There was a small but comfy looking couch. It was burgundy with huge soft cushions.  
  
Next thing she knew the couch was in the middle of her living room. And not only did it look comfy, it was…  
  
[July 30, 2003]  
  
----------  
  
Later that week Meilin was enjoying the comfortability that was her couch she fell asleep.  
  
----------  
  
It was another one of those weird dreams.  
  
She was standing again in the white 'room'. Then slowly a room came into focus and a scene unfolded before her eyes.  
  
It was her y and the same little boy she'd seen before, except he looked older. The little boy was kneeling next to her bed. She looked sick and the little boy was crying.  
  
"I told you not to cry."  
  
"But you're going to leave me all by myself."  
  
"That's because I have to go do something."  
  
"Why can't I come?"  
  
"I told you that you need to stay here and take care of someone for me."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"She'll come to you when she's ready."  
  
"But how will I know?"  
  
"You'll know. *cough cough*"  
  
"Mama, Mama what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm okay. I just need to rest."  
  
"Okay Mama. I'll stay here with you until you leave."  
  
She closed her eyes and Meilin knew that she wasn't sleeping. She could see tears in the little boy's eyes but he just held his mom.  
  
"Do you understand now?" said a voice out of no where.  
  
----------  
  
[End of CH 11. This took me a long time. But I've been trying to write this stupid essay! *argh* I've only gotten 2500 words so far. I need at least 3400. That's what I was working on instead of this. So the next update might take a while, unless I type it up now. It's my break time from writing the essay. Thanks for the reviews.]  
  
[August 6, 2003] 


	12. In every single way

Beautiful12  
  
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In every single way  
  
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"Understand?" repeated Meilin as she stood in the white 'room'. She looked around to see who just spoke to her. It was a guy's voice but it sounded muffed. She could tell she knew who he was but couldn't grasp at who he was.  
  
"I had to show you instead of tell you."  
  
"So you've been the one giving me these dreams."  
  
"Yes. I had to, it was the only way to tell you."  
  
"Tell me what?" Meilin asked while still looking around to see who he was.  
  
He or someone was slowly materializing in front of her; it was that guy at the jewelry stand.  
  
Meilin opened her mouth to say something but couldn't speak. She blinked at him. "This is a dream, this is only a dream, a dream, a dream," she started to repeat.  
  
"It is a dream."  
  
"Okay, my dream is agreeing with me. But only a dream, just a dream."  
  
"So you still don't understand?"  
  
"I understand you're a dream."  
  
"No not that. Understand who I am and who you are."  
  
Meilin blinked at this question. "You're the guy at the jewelry stand?"  
  
"No, that's my brother."  
  
Meilin blinked at his comment. "But he only has one other brother and I've met him before." He blinked at Meilin's comment. They stood there staring at each other for some time until Meilin spoke again. "I was your mom?"  
  
"No. You just look like her."  
  
"And your brothers are those guys that work at the jewelry stand with your father?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you were the little boy crying."  
  
"So you understand?"  
  
"I don't need anyone to take care of me. I can take care of myself," said Meilin sternly.  
  
----------  
  
There was a bright light as Meilin opened her eyes; it was the sun in her eyes. She slowly got up from her couch. She quickly went over her 'dream'. "Why would someone need to take care of me? I've been taking care of myself my whole life. I don't need somebody now," she thought to herself. "I just need to get to work."  
  
----------  
  
After work Meilin found that her feet has brought her where her journey first begun. She was standing twenty feet away from the jewelry stand. She wondered how she got here, she didn't think this was where she was walking.  
  
But she was here for something. She saw the guy she first saw there a few months ago. He was smiling happily and was helping a young woman. He kept stealing glances at the young woman. He was obviously attracted to her.  
  
"Umm… Excuse me," said Meilin.  
  
"Oh, Hello can I help you?" he replied.  
  
"Maybe. Is your father or brother here?"  
  
"No, they're not here but they might be back before the day is over."  
  
"That's okay I just wanted to ask you something. How many brothers do you have?"  
  
"I thought you knew I only had one older brother."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I think I would know how many brothers I had."  
  
"If that's what you would like to think." He looked at Meilin like she just insulted him. "I didn't mean to offend you, it's just… nothing."  
  
"Did my brother ever come meet you?"  
  
"Yes he did but he didn't say anything about your mother."  
  
"He doesn't talk about her much, neither does my father."  
  
"I figured as much." Meilin wanted to mention his other brother, Shou but decided against it. "So I'll see you around. I should be going."  
  
"Bye," he said with a smile.  
  
Meilin left sadly. "To never know your mother," she thought sorrowfully. "I can relate."   
  
----------  
  
The sun was already sitting when Meilin got to her apartment. The rays of the sun painted her kitchen and living room with a warm yellow glow. Even her couch was glowing.  
  
She took a nice long bath before she fell asleep on her bed.  
  
----------  
  
"I know you can take care of yourself, you have for your whole life."  
  
Meilin woke up to the soft comforting voice. Her room was dark and the moonlight was dim. Her eyes adjusted to the low light and she could see the outline of someone.  
  
"How did you get into my apartment?"  
  
"If I could get into your dreams how could I not get into your apartment."  
  
"Why are you here?" Meilin asked as he walked over to sit on the bed with her like an old friend.  
  
"To fulfill a promise to my mother."  
  
"I'm just a promise?" The words came out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying but they have already been spoken so she could not take them back.  
  
"My brother and I were born to protect you," he said as he looked into her eyes.  
  
All those years of abuse from her parents, she learned how to suppress her feeling and emotions. "I need not your protection," she said with her head facing away from his.  
  
"If that is what you wish but I must stay with you," he said as he reached for her hand and held it in his.  
  
"But I don't need you," protested Meilin as she tried to pull back her hand away from his. He held onto her hand and was pulled closer to her. She could feel his heart beating faster and faster. She missed how he used to hold her. He still smelled like vanilla.  
  
She leaned in closer. And before she knew it her lips were already on his. His lips were soft and felt so nice on her own. A moment later his tongue was wondering in her mouth while his hands was busy elsewhere. Before she knew it she was on her back and he was on top of her.  
  
----------  
  
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and someone was holding her. Meilin realized what she just did a couple of hours ago. She saw whom she did it with. He was still sleeping and had his arms around her.  
  
[End of CH 12. So uh… Yea this is where it got all rated-R. But it wasn't exactly rated-R, so I stayed with my rating. I left the rest to your imagination. The next chapter is going to be posted maybe before I go back to school. *urgh* I hate school! But I must go back and suffer. So R&R and I'll post the next by the 15th.]  
  
[August 9, 2003] 


	13. So don't you bring me down today

Beautiful13  
  
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So don't you bring me down today  
  
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"What have I done," thought Meilin as she watched Shou sleep. His heart was beating softly next to her ear. She could feel his warm breath on her cheeks. And felt his soft skin touching hers. "Okay, I know what I've done. But I can't believe I did it…"  
  
She didn't wait for him to wake up; she went to the bathroom so she wouldn't have to face him, yet.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin didn't take a bath like she usually did but a quick shower. "Maybe I can leave before he wakes up," she contemplated. "This is silly, this is my apartment. But what am I supposed to do with him? I'll just leave and come back later. But Sakura is going to be coming today and if I'm not here and he's the only one here…"  
  
She wasn't sure what to do so she just stepped out of the bathroom to face the day without a plan.  
  
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When she walked into her bedroom her bed was empty. There were just some white ruffed sheets with no one under them. She sighed in relief. "Maybe he left," she thought happily. But was suddenly disappointed. "He just left, without saying good bye to me?"  
  
She sadly got dressed for the day.  
  
----------  
  
She was about to cook something for her and Sakura to eat and found him lying on the sofa with a grin on his face. "What are you still doing here?" Meilin asked somewhat rudely.  
  
"I'm staying with you," he answered not offended what so ever.  
  
"But, you can't," she tried to protest.  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"Me. You can't stay here. Sakura is going to come and, and, and…" trailed off Meilin as she tried to find an excuse.  
  
"I have to stay here with you now. Especially after last night."  
  
"That wasn't supposed to happen. You don't need to stay with me."  
  
"Oh yes I do."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You'll know soon enough," he smiled at her.  
  
"That's not a good enough reason for me. Why must you be so difficult?"  
  
"Me? You're the one who keeps insisting for me to leave," he joked.  
  
Meilin knew she was fighting a losing battle so she quietly surrendered into the kitchen to cook. While Shou basked in his glory and kept lying on the nice comfy couch.  
  
----------  
  
It was nearly noon before one of them spoke to each other again. "Are you going to be here all day?" Meilin asked.  
  
"Only if you're here."  
  
"That's not going to work for me. Can you leave for an hour or two?"  
  
"Only if you come with me."  
  
"Will you stop that?"  
  
"Only if-"  
  
"Sorry to ask," said Meilin resentfully. "You were so much more cooperative in my dreams."  
  
"Isn't real life fun?"  
  
Meilin walked out half-annoyed and half-worried. "How am I going to explain him to Sakura?"  
  
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During the course of the time it took Meilin to call Sakura and Sakura's trip to Meilin's apartment Meilin tried to make Shou less noticeable. She tried to cover him with a sheet, but he somehow always managed to get on top of it. She tried to move the couch, but it was really heavy, especially with him on it. She even tried to ask him to go into the bedroom and shut the door. All attempts were futile.  
  
----------  
  
When Sakura finally arrived Shou managed to have disappeared somewhere. Meilin didn't care where, just as long as she didn't need to explain him to Sakura.  
  
Sakura was carrying a big box with red wrapping paper on it "Happy New Apartment!" screamed Sakura as she handed it over to Meilin.  
  
"You didn't have to Sakura."  
  
"But I wanted to."  
  
"Thanks. What is it?"  
  
"If you want to know, open it."  
  
Meilin carefully took the red wrapping paper off. She then opened the box to find a gleaming, beautiful golden cage and a bright red chirping bird inside of it. "Sakura! You could've killed the bird. There were no air holes!"  
  
"Oh, I knew I forgot something. The bird was barely in there, if you would've opened it faster. I know how much you love birds."  
  
Meilin forgave Sakura's carelessness and put the bird in front of the window in her kitchen. "Looks perfect there," Sakura complimented.  
  
"What looks so perfect?"  
  
The two both turned and looked at the person, who seconds ago wasn't there. "Meilin's bird cage. Doesn't it just look perfect there?"  
  
He looked and scrutinized the bird and cage. "Too bad it's in a cage."  
  
"But if it isn't it'll fly away."  
  
"It's better than being trapped."  
  
Sakura looked and him and nodded in agreement. She walked over to the cage and opened it so the bird could fly out. "That's better. Isn't the cage beautiful?"  
  
"What are you two doing?" gasped Meilin. "You let my bird fly away. And you aren't supposed to be here."  
  
"Meilin you heard him, we couldn't let the bird suffer in the cage. Who is he anyway?"  
  
"He's no one Sakura. Just ignore him and maybe he'll go away."  
  
"How did he get here? I didn't sense anyone with us until he spoke."  
  
"I'm not sure but let's have some tea and cookies," responded Meilin.  
  
"Where are my cookies?" Shou asked sadly.  
  
"Just ignore him and maybe he'll go away," Meilin said again.  
  
"Meilin aren't you going to introduce me to him?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Yes, please tell us why you don't introduce me to your friends?"  
  
"Fine. Sakura meet Shou, Shou meet Sakura. Now that we all know each other let's not bother each other."  
  
"So how do you know Meilin?" Shou asked.  
  
"Oh, we go way back. Since we were 10. And I'm married to her cousin. We're really close friends. Weird how she's never mentioned you before."  
  
"I think so too. Meilin and I are living together now."  
  
'Meilin! I can't believe you didn't tell me this? How can we be best friends if you don't tell me these things?"  
  
"We're not living together," Meilin tried to object. "He just won't leave," she mumbled.  
  
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Sakura spent the whole time getting to know Shou while Meilin sat and starred at the two. They joked and laughed like old friends. When it was time for Sakura to leave she hugged her goodbye and said, "We aren't really living together."  
  
"But he's so great. Don't let him fly away."  
  
But before Meilin could protest Sakura was already gone.  
  
----------  
  
Meilin resisted the urge to hit the man just hours ago she really liked. She did not look at him; it seemed all too tempting. Instead she cleaned up. She cleared the dishes. She washed the dishes. She swept the floor. And she even mopped it, just so she wouldn't have to think about what she was going to do with him.  
  
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"When are you going to leave?"  
  
"Me?" he said surprised. "I told you I was going to stay with you forever."  
  
"What about clothes and other personal things?"  
  
"I already unpacked them."  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Yes, it was right before Sakura got here."  
  
"I can't believe this."  
  
"I can."  
  
"You can't stay with me!"  
  
"I have too."  
  
"No. You don't have to. I can take care of myself. I always had and will. I don't need you."  
  
"As much as you protest, you know you can't live with out me."  
  
Meilin stood there in disbelief, "You can't be serious? You disrupt my dreams. You find where I live. And now you're going to live with me."  
  
"You make it sound as if I was stalking you."  
  
"But you have been."  
  
"I am here to protect you."  
  
"Fine. Whatever. I need some sleep."  
  
[End of CH 13. I would like to personally apologize to the very long no update. Stupid school is getting in the way of everything. It's been a very long time since I updated. I got to try to keep updating on a regular basis until I finish. Next update will be before September 4th. Promise. So how do you guys like the story so far? I think my writing style is changing and I'm distorting the characters, even my original character. This story is going places I never thought of going. But it came to me in a dream, so I use it.]  
  
[August 28, 2003] 


	14. No matter what we say

Beautiful14  
  
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No matter what we say  
  
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Meilin gave Shou a puzzled look. She wasn't expecting anyone, was he? He shrugged and wasn't sure who the other person behind the door was. He wiped her tears and got up to open the door.  
  
"Uh, I think I have the wrong apartment. I'm sorry," said the person behind the door. He had a deep, strong, familiar voice. "But do you know which apartment is Meilin Li's?"  
  
Meilin instinctively froze. At that moment she wished that she were invisible. She wished that Shou knew to say, "No". She wished XiaoLang would just leave. "How did he find me?" Meilin thought.  
  
Shou turned around to look at Meilin to ask but it was too late, XiaoLang had already saw her. He had known her too long to be fooled by the short red hair. He knew before he even knocked that this was her apartment. He knew it was Meilin he was looking at.  
  
"Meilin!" he screamed at an almost disciplinarian way, shoving Shou out of the way. "Is this where you've been? You ran off with some guy to live here!" Meilin's tears were still visible and XiaoLang was horror-stricken. "What's wrong?" he asked in a softer tone. "Are you okay? Why did you run off? Meilin I have been looking for you for so long. Meilin-"  
  
"XiaoLang," responded Meilin in the tone she always spoke to him with, "I did not run off with some guy. There are many reasons why I left. I wasn't even going to stay in China. I know you have been looking for me."  
  
"Who is HE?" asked XiaoLang rudely pointing like a child, at Shou.  
  
"He is, he is…" Meilin wasn't sure who he was to her yet. "Shou," who at the moment was still standing by the opened door speechless.  
  
"Meilin, why'd you leave?"  
  
"You already know the answer to that. Why'd you find me?"  
  
"What if something happened to you?"  
  
"I DON'T NEED A BABY SITTER!" she screamed at both of them. "Why doesn't anyone understand that? I can take care of myself. I never needed anyone, what makes you guys think I need you now?" and with that she ran out of the room, into the bathroom. She barricaded herself inside.  
  
She knows that both of them have immense magic and could open the door if they wanted but they would never dare to open the door if she was on the other side, angry and bitter.  
  
----------  
  
She cried more than she ever remembered she had. All those years of pent-up anger, hate, sadness, and depression was coming out. The more tears that fell, the more it seemed like she could never stop. Just as her life was coming together and she was content, people need to come and make her Meilin again.  
  
She should've left China but she didn't have enough money, yet. She should've just robbed a bank. She should've never let Shou get as close as he did. She should've hid better from XiaoLang. She should've had never let Sakura know it was her. She should've done a lot of things but they were all done and now she was suffering the consequences.  
  
There was a light tapping on the door, "It's me XiaoLang, Meilin we need to talk."  
  
"Meilin, please come out," asked Shou nicely.  
  
Meilin tried to pull herself together. Had it always been this hard to stop crying? She slowly but surely opened the door and walked to the couch with out looking at either of them. Sitting down she eyed them both.  
  
XiaoLang went and sat next to her, while Shou pulled up a chair next to her.  
  
"Meilin, are you okay?" asked Shou.  
  
"Prefect. I'm perfect."  
  
"Are you going to keep staying here?" asked XiaoLang.  
  
"No."  
  
"The you're going to come back and live on the estate with Sakura and me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Are you going to live with me?" Shou asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Meilin, your parents are sorry for what they have done. They would like to apologize. If you would only come back."  
  
"But what about our child?"  
  
"CHILD!" shouted XiaoLang. "You are with child?" Meilin nodded slowly. "Since when? Is this why you left?"  
  
"No. I left because I could no longer stand living there any more. I hate that place. My parents hated me. My family hated me. Everyone hated me. There was no reason for me to even stay."  
  
"But Sakura and I love you."  
  
"That's it! XiaoLang, you've never seen it! I loved you. All those years! For as long as I can remember I loved you and then you left me. You have no idea what kind of life I had to live. You ask me to return?"  
  
"But I thought you-"  
  
"No! Are you happy now? I knew you loved Sakura that's why I wanted you two to be together. That's why I couldn't come to the wedding. I knew I could never make you happy like Sakura did. I know she is great. That's why I love her too. But I could never be as good as Sakura." XiaoLang's eyes turned to the floor. Meilin was starring directly at him. He could feel her gaze on him. "XiaoLang I thought you would've figured it out by now. Just leave me, alone. Both of you! I don't need you two right now."  
  
XiaoLang sorrowfully walked out the door. He looked at Meilin once more before he left. Shou on the other hand closed the door and tried to comfort her.  
  
"I said leave me alone."  
  
"You know what I use to say to you in your dreams, I'll always be here for you, even if you don't want me here."  
  
"I know," replied Meilin.  
  
[End of CH 14. So yes I made it, one day early too! Aren't you guys proud of me? ^_^ But uh, yea. There will be more Li and Sakura to come. Which will be online by the 11th, if I'm not too busy. So R&R!]  
  
[September 3, 2003] 


	15. Full of beautiful mistakes

Beautiful15  
  
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Full of beautiful mistakes  
  
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There Meilin sat, it seemed like her life was perfect just a couple of days ago. She had her own apartment, she had a job, and she was happy for once in her life. Now everything was upside down. There was a baby growing inside of her. XiaoLang has come back to make her return. And on top of all this, the father of the baby was irritating the crap out of her.  
  
She sighed softly every couple of minutes. And Shou watched carefully, as if she were a bird about to escape from the opened door. But she was a tired bird and didn't try to escape, for now.  
  
"Shou," whispered Meilin.  
  
"Yes?" he said hopefully  
  
"Would you try to find me if I ran away?"  
  
"I wouldn't need to because you wouldn't," said Shou trying to hide his anxiety.  
  
"I want to run away again. It was so easy before and I was so happy afterwards."  
  
"You don't want to spend the rest of your life running away."  
  
"But you and your mom ran away."  
  
Shou hesitated a moment before speaking, "But we had no other choice. My father did not approve of magic and especially not to my mother teaching his children magic."  
  
"My parents don't approve of me because I don't have any magic."  
  
"I know. I've known you all my life, even before I've ever met you."  
  
"Then why didn't you ever come rescue me?"  
  
"Because I wasn't allowed to."  
  
"Where are all these rules coming from?"  
  
Shou chuckled before answering, "There are certain ways to do things and it wasn't until you let me in that I could help you."  
  
"Let you in?"  
  
"Yeah, after you let go of XiaoLang I could come and help you because before he was your protector and you didn't need another."  
  
"I guess," she said slowly. "But he was never really mines. Are you ever going to leave me?"  
  
"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't," he said as he sat next to her and held her in his arms.  
  
"I feel so safe in your arms," Meilin whispered as she snuggled up to him.  
  
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It had been a blissful week after that. Shou was still annoying but she loved him and he her. Sakura was supposed to be coming today and Meilin wasn't sure but knew XiaoLang would not be far behind. She was prepared to face him today. She felt as strong as the day she left the estate.  
  
There was a knock on the door as Meilin finished setting up dinner. She had set four places, in case XiaoLang did show up.  
  
Shou went to open the door and sure enough Sakura was there with a big smile on her face and hiding behind her was XiaoLang. "Hiding?" Meilin mused to herself.  
  
"Meilin, I hoped that you have enough for four people. Li's here too."  
  
"Of course I do. As if I didn't know he wasn't coming."  
  
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XiaoLang had sat next to Sakura and Meilin and across from Shou. They sat in awkward silence until Meilin brought up the subject of babies.  
  
"Sakura, have you and XiaoLang decided on your baby's name yet?"  
  
XiaoLang looked quickly at Sakura in confusion while Sakura's eyes opened wide in shock. "Meilin! I uh,"  
  
"Sakura, you're pregnant?" XiaoLang asked cautiously. "Since when? Why haven't you told me?"  
  
"Yes. Almost five months now."  
  
"FIVE MONTHS!"  
  
"You should've noticed by now! Didn't you think it was peculiar that I ate so much and was gaining so much weight! Did you think that I was only getting fat!" XiaoLang was quite and not sure of himself as Sakura spoke. "You could feel her aurora by now." XaioLang's hands slowly went to Sakura's stomach and his face lit up.  
  
"She's so small. I can't believe that I couldn't feel this before. I was so caught up in finding Meilin and being the clan leader. I'm so sorry, to you both," said XiaoLang sincerely. Sakura smiled back and hugged him.  
  
"I think I will call her PaYang, Have you guys came up with a name?"  
  
Shou answered, "Yes, we've decided to call him Chiyou."  
  
The rest of the night they four spent discussing their future children and their own childhood. Meilin, Sakura, and XiaoLang told Shou all about Japan and how much fun they had there when they were children.  
  
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When it was time for XiaoLang and Sakura to go Meilin spoke to XiaoLang alone, on the balcony.  
  
"XiaoLang I think that we should move back to the estate with you guys," said Meilin confidently.  
  
"You mean Shou and you?"  
  
"And of course the baby when it is born."  
  
"Of course. You could have your old house if you'd like. Your mother and father moved into a smaller house after you left."  
  
"I think that I've had too many unhappy memories in there. Somewhere near my garden. You are still taking care of my garden, aren't you?"  
  
"Sakura has seen to it that none of your flowers have died. So of course you can live near your garden."  
  
"We'll come after I have the baby, is that okay?"  
  
XiaoLang smiled and hugged her, "I missed you so much."  
  
She smiled back, "I missed you too."  
  
[End of CH 15. So, uh yeah. I don't know if I've got them all in character but this is the best that I could do. I have no idea when I'll be able to post the next chapter. I have like three essays due next week, so I must work on them but when I'm finished, I promise to update, asap! Read&Review]  
  
[September 9, 2003] 


	16. Cause we are beautiful

Beautiful Epilogue  
  
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Cause we are beautiful  
  
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Two young children were outside practicing martial arts. There was a little girl and a little boy. They moved in unison, as if they were one being. Their arms slowly slice the air in front of themselves. Their feet rising from underneath themselves into the air. And gracefully landing on their feet at the same moment.  
  
Four pairs of hands could be heard clapping. The young children turned around and ran to their parents.  
  
"Mama! Did you see that?" asked the little boy.  
  
"Of course Chiyou. You two are so good!" replied Meilin.  
  
"Really Auntie Meilin?" asked the little girl.  
  
"Of course. You two are better than me and your dad," she said as she smiled down at the little girl.  
  
"Mommy, can Chiyou and me go play in the garden," the little girl asked Sakura.  
  
"You two just better not get into Auntie Meilin's bird house," warned Sakura. The two little children were off in a flash leaving the four adults in their dust. "Those two are getting so big, so fast."  
  
"Seemed just like yesterday they were learning how to walk and now they're learning martial arts," commented Shou.  
  
"We started before we were their age," answered XiaoLang. "I think we were a year or so younger."  
  
"The year we were engaged," reminded Meilin while XiaoLang nodded in agreement.  
  
"We're not going to do that to our children, are we?" asked Sakura.  
  
"I don't see why not," commented Shou. Everyone turned around and looked at him, surprised. "I'm just kidding. We don't want our kids screwed up like Meilin and XiaoLang." Now he got dirty looks from both Meilin and XiaoLang while Sakura burst into laughter.  
  
"I don't think she has any magic," Sakura said sorrowfully.   
  
"She will," responded Meilin.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"It took you a long time to discover you had any magical abilities and besides XiaoLang has too much to not have passed along any to PaYang."  
  
"Just be patient with her," commented Shou.  
  
"Unlike Chiyou, he has way too much magic for his age," responded XiaoLang. "The Elders are scared of him already. They know he'll be a threat in the future."  
  
"Really? But then again, they are the Elders and they do say a lot of things," said Meilin.  
  
"They say he got it from you."  
  
"Me? How is that possible? I haven't got any magic."  
  
"I forgot to tell you. The Elders told me this after you had Shou. They had your powers bound because you were a threat to them and they wanted to bind Shou's."  
  
"What!"  
  
"I am so sorry I didn't tell you. I wouldn't let them bind his but yours is too far to be called back. I'm sorry."  
  
Meilin closed her eyes to mourn for her lost past. "It's okay. If I would've had them I would've probably married you."  
  
XiaoLang raised his eyebrows. "You're so lucky Meilin," joked Sakura. "Now I'm stuck with him."  
  
"Aren't I lucky?"  
  
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[End of Epilogue. I wasn't even going to put in an epilogue. I didn't think I needed to add one but here is one just in case you guys were all wondering about some things. This is my sad attempt to tie things up, hope it's a little helpful.]  
  
[End of Beautiful.]  
  
[September 10, 2003] 


	17. Author's Note

Beautiful  
  
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Author's Note  
  
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So yes, you have just read the first ever fanfic, let alone story, I've ever finished! It took me almost a year but I managed to do it.  
  
I would like to thank all those whom tolerated my laziness, muse-less, and just not updating-ness. Your comments are what motivated my sorry butt to keep writing.  
  
I know I'm not the greatest writer but I try and I'm quite satisfied with it. My writing skills are still a work in progress and with that I will now attempt to write Harry Potter Fanfic. *self-less self advertisement*  
  
Thank You all for your comments, I really do appreciate them.  
  
*Disclaimer: only one of these characters belong to me and I can do anything I want with him. But the others apparently don't belong to me so I was as nice to them as possible. Characters property of CLAMP and some other people. Chapter titles are lyrics from Christina's "Beautiful", which inspired me to write this fanfic. So I'm not making any profit from this except personal happiness and since you can't put a price tag on that you can't sue me, I think* 


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